I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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