Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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