Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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