Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
