margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
