Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
