The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
