Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize