did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
