at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
FUCK WHALES
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
