she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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