it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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