i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
