Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
