Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
