I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Best friends brother. Beat that.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
