you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
