He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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