Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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