direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
