we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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