the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
