my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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