Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
