I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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