I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
