went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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