Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
