I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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