I could make wine with my vomit
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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