I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
