pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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