Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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