would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
