I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
