Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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