Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
