Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
