its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
