my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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