Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I need water and some morals
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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