3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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