we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
