I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
if only i could text you this smell
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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