therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
