last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
