I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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