the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
