I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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