Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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