Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
