We're like a lot better than the average bears
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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