I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize