Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
True strength comes from lack of pants
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
