There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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