i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize