her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
