Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
