I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
