Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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