I didn't shave. On purpose
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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