how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
