addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
