you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
